They Came from Antarctica
by Darkness Dawn
Summary: CRACK FIC! including evil penguins with weapons, Rima getting drunk, hyper Siren, Kaname and Zero killing Yuuki, and the author. 100% randomness. Contains KanaZe as always with my fanfics. T for violence, death and swearing.


_**They Came from Antarctica…**_

**Darkness Dawn**

_**Disclaimer:**__ With my obsession with KanaZe there is no way Kaname would walk of with Yuuki and treat Zero like that!_

_**Summary:**__ CRACK FIC!!! including evil penguins with weapons, Rima getting drunk, hyper Siren, Kaname and Zero killing Yuuki, and the author. 100% randomness._

_**Warning: Contains humour you may not find funny! I however do find this amusing… Now how did my sister get in there?**_

_**A/N:**__ OOCness abound! Yeah I know it's freaky… don't ask, I have an obsession with penguins turning evil and taking over the world, I am also indulging in my sadistic side when it comes to Yuuki… Somebody needs to see her psychiatrist nowish…_

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Night fell upon Cross Academy and a high pitched, unearthly screeches filled the night air…

"W-what was that!?" whimpered a girl in black uniform, sneaking around the campus with her friend.

"It was nothing scaredy cat! Just a bird or something…"

"It sounded like a dinosaur… Oh my god!!! It's Jurassic park! The Night Class are so smart they brought the dinosaurs back to life for a science project and it killed them all!!!! IDOL-SEMPAI NOOOOO!!!" screamed the girl, before getting knocked down.

"Shut up stupid!" hissed her friend. "The prefects will hear us!" Then a bush started shaking. "What the-?"

"W-who's there!?"

Suddenly a high pitched scream filled the air.

"What was that!?" squeaked Yuuki, clinging to her partners arm. Zero snatched his arm back and kept walking along the roof top. "Zero! What if someone's in trouble?"

"So what if they are?" _He_ didn't care what happened to those stupid girls.

"Zero!" scolded Yuuki, running after him but tripping up and falling off of the roof, breaking her arm because she's a stupid klutz.

"Hmph… that's the best sadistic punishment you can come up with!?"

"Shut up you! As if _you_ could do better"

"What the- Who the hell are you two!?" snapped Zero.

"Random OCs placed in the story to increase the randomness" And with that the random OCs walked off into the darkness and vanished, leaving Zero to stare after them.

---X---

Meanwhile in the moon dorms…

"GIMME SOME MORE!!!" screeched a woman's voice.

"Now, now Rima I think you've had enough…" said Takuma trying to calm the drunk model down.

"NOOO!!! SCREW YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! I WANT MORE VODKA!!!" Their argument was interrupted however when a high pitched giggle filled the room. Turning around they all spotted Kaname Kuran's deadly serious blue haired body-guard… dressed in a bright baby pink Lolita dress with daisies in her hair.

"Goodness me! We shouldn't be fighting! We should all play nicely and skip around and pick flowers like all good children do!" and then Seiren started skipping around singing "La~la~la~la~la!" While her class mates watched her with nonplussed expressions. Rima shot a glare at her vice president.

"Oh! So it's OK for Seiren to go off her head on crack but I'm not aloud to have ONE FUCKING DRINK!?!"

"Rima I don't think they're on drugs…" he looked over to where Seiren had started the first verse of 'If you're happy and you know it' "…maybe… Ok, maybe Seiren is but I don't think It's good for your career"

"FUCK YOU BASTARD!!!"

"Rima~!" scolded Seiren in a happy singsong voice. "You don't say fuck it's called making love or sex… wait…" her eyes seemed to light up. "Ooooh!!! You have a crush on Ichi!!!" she squealed. "That's so cuuute!"

"EWWW!!!"

"Umm… Akatsuki? what happened to Seiren-san?" whispered Aidou to his cousin Kain. Kain however was gone. "Wha- Akatsuki!?" then he spotted his orange haired cousin. "Akatsuki what the hell are you doing!?!"

"What?" called Kain from where he was dancing with Seiren now in the fifth verse, his orange hair covered in flowers which were burning but oh well.

"I-I… I don't feel so good…" and then Aidou fainted.

---X---

Meanwhile Zero was patrolling the corridors when he bumped into a certain brunette as well as a girl with long auburn hair and a six year old girl with shoulder length black hair.

"Kuran! You should be in class… and who the hell are they!?" The girls smiled.

"We're random people you don't need to worry about" they chorused.

"Hang on," said Zero looking at them closely. "Aren't you the author?" her eyes narrowing, the older girl picked up a knife.

'No…" said the girl quietly.

"She is most definitely not the author Kiryuu" assured a certain pureblood who had learnt the hard way that this OC is definitely _not_ the author

"Er… Ok then" said Zero.

"Good!" Said OCwhoisnottheauthor. Then a high pitched shriek filled the corridor and from the shadowed hallway emerged…

A PENGUIN!!! [_**dramatic music!**_]

"Aww… how cute!" said the six year old girl as she bent down to pet the flightless bird. "Good pen- AGHHHHHHH!!!" the boys screamed as the girl was brutally massacred and her heart, liver, stomach and brain were spread to different corners of the room exposing her bones and trailing her intestines everywhere, in fact for added measure- the penguin strangled the girl with her own guts as she died.

"Good penguin!" said OCwhoisnottheauthor, petting it on the head. "Good boy for getting rid of my annoying bratty sister! Oh yeah, you two might want to get running so that I can continue the story"

And then the two vampire boys ran for their lives down the corridor chased by a penguin but as they reached the math class another mass of killer penguins got in their way, forcing the boys into the class room. They locked the door and both collapsed against it.

"We may be stuck in here for a while…" panted Kaname. Zero was too out of breath to reply. Then Kaname put his hand down, accidentally touching Zero's hand. Both stiffened at the contact though neither moved.

"So… er… we may be stuck here for a while…" said Zero quietly. "It may get… _boring…_"

"Yes… It just might… _Zero_…" suddenly, Kaname had slammed Zero into the desk and they were both making out. (thus making the author very happy even though she wrote this nonsense!)

"Wait…," said Zero pulling away. "We can't do this…"

"Yuuki…" murmured Kaname. Yes that was their main obstacle wasn't it? Just at that moment Yuuki fell through the roof because she's a stupid klutz.

"Hey guys! What are you doing?" the stupid girl asked even though it was completely obvious the two had been making out.

"Well… we were thinking about our personal lives and the problems that stand in the way of getting what we want… and we are going to remove them" explained Kaname.

"Oh good!" said Yuuki happily and completely unaware of the evil looks on the faces of the two boys and the army of penguins surrounding them. "How?"

"Like this" said Zero, and then both of them grabbed Yuuki and bit her neck, draining her dry! (A/N: MWAHAHAHA!!!) Which is what happens when you stop my boys getting together Yuuki-chan, ne?

**Now that the nuisance was out of the way Kaname and Zero where free to screw each other once again and wasted no time ripping each other's clothes off oblivious to the Antarctic birds that were watching.**

**After watching this the penguins abandoned their weapons went to the nearest manga store, bought yaoi mangas and went home.**

**Zero and Kaname have been together ever since.**

**Rima died of liver failure leaving Shiki and Takuma to get together,**

**Seiren and Akatsuki got locked up in an asylum where they got married.**

**Aidou is locked in with them after becoming traumatised.**

**And the author too got locked up because she writes the weirdest fanfics ever, however once again she escaped, it seems they still haven't invented a straight jacket that can contain her.**

**THE END**

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_Am I random or what!? Erm... reviews are apreciated but I don't blame you if you call the crazy house and/or run away screaming._


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